Manchester Food and Drink Festival: Clean-living Girl Cruelly Floored by Raft of Whisky Events

Now, I am aware that over the last few years, I have inadvertently acquired something of a reputation as a bon viveur; indeed, a casual glance at this very blog might indicate that I am something of a greedy-faced glutton, forever sticking my hungry face into the food trough and then swilling it all down with a flagon or two of something alcoholic. And whilst I cannot, ahem, entirely refute these claims, I would like to highlight the following points:

- the glass of wine I am currently drinking is the first alcoholic drink I have had in a week, and what's more, I am sipping it daintily in a ladylike manner. So, that image you have of me throwing my head back and glugging directly from the bottle? False, entirely false.

- today I have eaten an apple, an orange, some raisins and a few sad morsels of melba toast, and I have a healthy pork and vegetable casserole bubbling away on the stove which - much to Mr Liz's chagrin - I plan to serve with EXTRA vegetables.

- finally (for now - I could extol my clean-living virtues for far longer than this), I can honestly say that I hardly ever drink spirits - a gin and tonic once a year with my mum whilst making the Christmas lunch (and everyone knows that Christmas Day offers a free pass to do whatever you want - I could dunk a selection of Quality Street in my gin and tonic if I so desired), and an occasional brandy and ginger in exceptionally cold or trying circumstances is about my lot.

I am certainly not a whisky drinker, so imagine my surprise upon checking my diary to find that it is full of whisky-based events; last time I drank whisky was about ten years ago at the house of a serious connoisseur, who was openly appalled when I mixed some prized vintage with diet coke to make it slightly more palatable. Next Saturday, 15th October sees the return of The Manchester Whisky Festival, the annual highlight of the Manchester Food and Drink Festival for Mr Liz and other excitable boys across the North West; last year, he returned home so drunkly triumphant he had to be put to bed for a couple of hours before he was considered tolerable once more by the general populace. Worryingly, the tickets for the afternoon session had already sold out, meaning that Mr Liz and his partners-in-crime will be starting on the whisky at 11am - ELEVEN AM.

As if that wasn't enough, he gets something of a whisky warm-up this weekend, as Common in Manchester's Northern Quarter hosts the final leg of the ‘Auchentoshan Presents’ tour on Sunday 9th October. Auchentoshan is a single malt, and therefore (I know now) NOT to be mixed with diet coke; imagine my delight, therefore, to find that the free whisky tasting that starts at four positively sanctions the mixing of whisky with other things for girly wooses. Three tasters will be available, including a long drink made with ginger ale (I like the sound of this one), and a combination involving chocolate - Mr Liz is, I think, hoping for a large glass of neat whisky with a Yorkie bar perched on the edge as decoration. Once everyone is nice and drunk (even I can see that free whisky mid-afternoon is a risky concept, albeit an exciting one), there will be music till midnight; Common say "proper fancy dj types playing music until midnight (it is a school night after all)" and I frankly have no wish to alter their splendid wording.

So, a couple of unfeasibly good weekends for whisky-loving Mr Liz; I'm honestly fed up with him leading me astray and dragging me out all the time...