Restaurant Review: Saints & Scholars, Didsbury

As Didsbury becomes ever more of a clone town, the death knell for the small independent business tolls ever louder with the news that the old Boots premises are to become either a Starbucks or a Cafe Nero. Add this to the depressing roll call of chain bars and restaurants that now line Wilmslow Road - Slug & Lettuce, Cafe Rouge, Pitcher & Piano, Felicinis (good though it is) - and Didsbury is in danger of losing its identity.

Hurrah, then, for Saints & Scholars, flying the flag along with Jem&I for something a bit different. This charming little restaurant is open all day (9.30 am - 11pm), serving fantastic cooked breakfasts first thing, the best banoffee pie in the world at elevenses and a proper grown-up dinner menu in the evenings. True, the menu hasn't changed in years, but that's not the point. You are free to relax at your slightly wobbly table, listening to Radio 2 as the very charming staff run up and down stairs that are rather bizarrely decorated with scenes from Dennis the Menace (the staircase, not the staff).

Beware of the "light bites" section of the menu, as in the absence of a "starters" section you may well order with gay abandon and woefully overface yourself - these are hefty portions (especially the deep-fried cheeses and the cajun chicken salad). Last time I went I ordered the cheeses followed by the salad along with a portion of chips, whilst my husband manfully ordered the steak from the specials board. This arrived perfectly cooked to order and garnished with the most delicious parsnip chips. Having been caught twice stealing the aforementioned chips from the aforementioned husband, the very charming owner enquired if I would like my own bowlful (yes, obviously) and duly appeared with a very large and very free portion of parsnip chips just for me. You see, you wouldn't get that from a restaurant chain, even if my husband did sulk all the way home about the sheer unfairness of life.

• Saints & Scholars is at 694 Wilmslow Road, Didsbury, Manchester M20 2DN, tel 0161 4482457
  

Manchester Museum and Whitworth Art Gallery

Last weekend I decided to do something a little more productive than lie on the sofa watching Saturday Kitchen, and intrepidly embarked upon a day of culture in search of a big brain. First stop was the Manchester Museum on Oxford Road, part of the University and completely free free free. The museum holds an impressively grisly selection of Egyptian artifacts (the second biggest in the country), so if gazing at mummies with disturbingly shrivelled feet on show seems like a pleasant way to spend an afternoon, this is the place for you. Animal lovers will also be delighted to find a cat coffin containing a mummified kitten. Next month sees the arrival of the Lindow Bog Man who was found in Cheshire in 1984 and is thought to be around 2000 years old: see him from April 19th.

The cost free nature of the day faltered with a visit to Blackwell's academic bookshop just up the road; this is where those lucky blighters still in full time education off-load their unwanted books in exchange for beer money, so there's always a good selection of second-hand stuff. Fantastic chocolate brownies in the cafe too.

Next stop: Whitworth Art Gallery, also on Oxford Road but this time heading out of Manchester. Like the museum, the gallery is part of the university and is also free; at the moment they have an interesting exhibition on the influence of William Blake, but this ends soon so have a look at their website to see what's coming up.

After such a day of culture, the only remaining option was to rest my tired brain in Jabez Clegg, a Manchester institution opposite the Students' Union building on Oxford Road.

Good News for Gluttons - Northenden Farmers' Market Set to Stay

After a six month trial, the monthly market in Northenden is to become permanent - good news for those of us (hangs head in shame) currently swept up in the whole "happy to pay three quid for a jar of jam because it's been hand-made by a rosy-cheeked dame" craze. I am happy to admit that I have been an ever-present at the market, reuseable cotton bag clutched to my chest, eager to purchase all manner of over-priced goods before stocking up on the basics at Sainsbury's.

The market will continue to take place on the first Saturday of every month, as well as every third Saturday under a new six month trial. Be there early, as although the official opening hours are 10 - 4, the good stuff goes fairly quickly and the stalls have been selling out before the end of the day. The stalls sell pretty much what you would expect - fruit and veg, good quality meat and pies, home-made fudge and cakes, as well as a black pudding stall on a day out from Bury. Snaffle a minted lamb burger so that you may elegantly drip sauce onto your clothes as you peruse the wares.

Where Can You Eat the Best Steaks in Manchester?

Well, until recently, The Gaucho Grill was the undisputed master of all things bovine. Situated in a hugely impressive building just off Deansgate, this temple to Argentine beef and wine has ruled the roost (cowshed?) for the last few years, thanks to an impressive range of steaks cooked perfectly to order. On my last couple of visits, though, I've noticed a change in atmosphere - a bit rushed, a bit corporate, a bit "well we're not really that bothered whether you eat here or not".

So I've defected. The Grill on the Alley is tucked away on Ridgefield, just off John Dalton Street, and although less visually stunning than The Gaucho Grill, this place has a real buzz about it. The tiny bar at the front always seems to be packed with cheery after-work drinkers, and the restaurant section has been full both upstairs and down on every occasion I have visited. Despite this, the attitude of the staff suggests that nothing is too much trouble, and although the selection of steaks on offer is not huge, it is perfectly formed. Go for the melt-in-the-mouth fillet steak with a side order of horseradish mash, or if you're feeling particularly flush, the Kobe beef fillet - from a cow that has been fed on beer and massaged daily since birth. A £50 for an 8oz fillet, maybe next time...

The Grill on the Alley is at 5 Ridgefield, Manchester M2.

The Best Cheese Burger in Britain?

My current and all-consuming obsession with Grinch Wine Bar & Restaurant continues - I am now physically unable to resist its lure when I go into central Manchester on a Saturday. And each time I go, I promise myself I will try something different - a pizza perhaps, or something healthy like the teriyaki salmon. And each time I go, I end up having the cheese burger because it's perfect, arriving at your table coyly pink in the middle and smothered with caramelised onions, double swiss cheese, dill pickles and fries. I must have it, and every week it seems. If you find a better burger, then I want that too.

Grinch Wine Bar, 5 -7 Chapel Walks, Manchester M2 1HN, tel. 0161 9073210, web address http://www.grinch.co.uk - go immediately.

Manchester University: Literature Live Events 2008

Some interesting events are scheduled at Manchester University over the next couple of months as part of their Creative Writing programme. These are all open to the public as well as students, and are mostly held at The Martin Harris Centre on the main campus on Oxford Road.

The first event was held last night, and featured readings from Jonathan Trigell and Clare Wigfall, two depressingly talented young writers who both studied Creative Writing at Manchester. Trigell read from his debut novel, Boy A, which was recently made into a film by Channel 4, as well as his new book Cham. Wigfall read a short story from her 2007 collection The Loudest Sound and Nothing. This was followed by a short Q & A session (including that awkward first half minute where no-one has a question) and then - best of all - a generously sized glass of red wine.

If the rest of the programme is as enjoyable as last night's event then there is much to look forward to, including Hanif Kureishi and Helen Dumore in future weeks. Most events cost only £3, or £2 for concessions.

More info at the University's website.

Restaurant Review: Jem&I, Didsbury

I'm not usually one to readily admit that I have been a fool, but in the case of Jem&I, I fear 'tis true. Despite the rave reviews this restaurant has garnered since opening, it has taken me several years to finally get through the doors.

There are three equally weak reasons for this:
1. I don't like its name
2. Before Jem&I, there was a really good caff here selling egg and bacon on toast at breakfast time, and I miss it
3. It is always, always phenomenally busy.

However, I finally overcame these (unreasonable) prejudices last Thursday. Admittedly, I was already weakened by a bottle of rose Moet which had been swiftly consumed in The Pitcher & Piano (January wine sale is remarkably still on), and the chances of me cooking my own dinner were small, so we made the very short journey to Jem&I to see what all the fuss was about.

The place was absolutely packed (see point 3 above), but we were given a charming little table located up above the main restaurant on a sort of mini-mezzanine level (beware if you are over about five feet tall - the sloping ceiling is very low up here). The waitresses couldn't have been nicer, and pretended stoically not to mind having to keep run up and down the stairs to us.

The food here is fairly traditional - we started with the chicken liver parfait (£6.50) and the squid (£7.25) - but beautifully done, and arrives in generously sized amounts. We followed this with duck breast served with duck spring roll and pak choi at £15.95 and a very tender rib-eye steak served with fat chips and sauce bearnaise at £16.95. Puddings were too nice to resist, so we also scoffed a sticky toffee pudding and a banana pavlova before our skirts became irredeemably tight.

The total bill, including a bottle of Bourisset Rose wine, came to £79.05, and I have already booked a return visit. Reviewing my three original objections, I find they are all still true, but I now feel ready to admit I was a fool not to come here sooner.

• Cafe Jem&I is at 1C School Lane, Didsbury M20 6RD, Tel. 0161 445 3996.
  

Tragedy for the Residents of South Manchester

A deathly silence descended upon South Manchester this week as the shock news emerged that Mr Khandoker is closing his restaurant for refurbishment for 6 weeks. The popular local curry house, "recommended by celebrities", will shut its doors from Monday 4th Feb until Monday 17th March to allow for a complete overhaul and extension of existing facilities. One Didsbury resident, too upset to be named, commented: "Its an emotional time. Obviously as a community we must come together to survive this tragedy and start to rebuild our lives." Locals were provided slight comfort by the news that the takeaway Khandoker is to remain open through this dark period.

• Readers who know the identity of these mysterious Khandoker-recommending "celebrities"are invited to enlighten us all by leaving a comment.
  

Restaurant Review: Jade Garden, Didsbury

Had enough of trying to cut down on all the things you enjoy this January? Me too. Hence an impromptu Tuesday night trip into Didsbury, firstly to sample the remarkably good half price wine sale at The Pitcher & Piano. This is meant to end on Thursday, but the staff seemed to think it might last another couple of weeks so get yourself downthere while you can still snaffle a bottle of Chateauneuf-du-Pape for an astonishing £12.50 (or a stupid £6.95 for Nero d'Avola if you're still on a post-Christmas budget). The P & P has recently been done up, and although the atmosphere downstairs feels a little sterile as a result, the new seating area upstairs is impressive (and frankly with wine this cheap you can surely create your own atmosphere anyway).

The P & P also does a nice line in bar food, but we required stronger sustenance than this and made the short journey to Jade Garden Chinese restaurant, which was empty on such a wet January night. This meant we had the undivided attention of the charming staff, who were helpful when needed but retreated to the other side of the room when not, thus avoiding that awkward we're-the-only-people-here-so-keep-your-voice-down scenario.

Jade Garden is pretty much reckoned to be the best Chinese in this area, and the food is reliably good: we had Banquet D at £25 per head and found only one item (the filo prawns) to be disappointing. All the rest - crispy duck, mixed starters and four main courses - went down a treat, the undoubted highlight being the fillet steak in Cantonese style sauce. They offer a full range of beers and the wine list isn't bad either - we had a bottle of Shiraz at £14.95. They also do takeaway for those too weary to vacate the couch. None of this matters as I really, truly am returning to the gym next week.

Jade Garden: 743 Wilmslow Road, Didsbury, Manchester M20 6RN (tel. 0161 4456979)

Pitcher & Piano: 1D School Lane, Didsbury, Manchester M20 6SA (tel. 0161 4489326)

Take This at the Bolholt Hotel, Bury

One of the drawbacks of living in a celebrity-obsessed culture, where people can earn a living by bearing a passing resemblance to Posh or Paris, and Graham Norton is given a prime-time Saturday night show to celebrate such individuals, is that we have come to misunderstand the notion of a tribute band. After all, a tribute band makes no promises other than to play the songs of a certain artist: there is no obligation that they should look like them too.

However, they could at least try. The Bolholt Hotel in Bury was packed to the rafters on Friday night, full of women of a certain age (I estimate the members of my party were the youngest there by a good decade or so) desperate to get as close to Mark, Gary, Jason and Howard as they were ever likely to. Indeed, having sat and endured the vision of a fat hen giving pretend oral-sex to a well-equipped blow up doll on the dance floor for the last hour, we were all ready for some distraction.

Rather disappointingly though, the four scruffy lads who had earlier conducted the sound check turned out to be Take This, and came bounding onstage dressed in suits ready to relight our fire. None of them looked remotely like the band they were pretending to be, and thus although they gave their all to their performance, they were ultimately just four boys doing some admittedly tuneful karaoke up on the stage.

Doh! I have been sucked into the age of the lookalike: I'm off to watch Graham Norton.

Jan/Feb 2008 at The Lowry Theatre, Salford

A couple of things worth seeing at The Lowry Theatre over the next few weeks. Firstly, Harold Brighouse's classic comedy Hobson's Choice runs from the 23rd to the 27th January 2008. Although the Eccles-born Brighouse wrote the play in 1915, and the setting is Victorian Manchester, the humour in this play of class and gender issues remains largely relevant and is well worth seeing. Sadly lots of people will probably go just because the lead role of Henry Hobson is being played by John Savident (Fred Elliot off Corrie).

Staying in the same time period, February sees the arrival of Oscar Wilde's The Importance of Being Earnest, a play really much too well known for its own good (just count up how many of the wags in the audience will be enunciating "A hand-er-bag?" to themselves during the performance) but is still actually very funny. This play is also set in England during the Victorian era, but is more a commedy of manners than Brighouse's; you surely don't need me to tell you the plot, just that it stars Tony Britton and runs from the 4th to the 9th of February.

More details from the Manchester Theatres website.

Harvey Nichols Brasserie 21 Offer

Don't miss the opportunity to dine at Harvey Nicks' fabulous second floor Brasserie at a frankly ridiculous price between now and February 2nd. Their legendary "twenty one" offer is making a welcome re-appearance, offering you a three course meal and unlimited (yes, really) house wine during the meal.

The catches are as follows:

• you can't choose from the whole menu, just a special selection of three starters, three mains and three desserts
• the meal can last a maximum of 90 minutes
• you have to book
• you will probably have to go to work the next day

Otherwise this is pretty much risk-free: the food is lovely and so is the house wine, and the staff are really generous with keeping your glass topped up. Beware though of leaving the restaurant at around 9.30, already full of wine, in the company of a friend who brightly says that as she has paid the baby-sitter until midnight, we may as well pop across Exchange Square to Sinclair's and have a couple more bottles of wine...uggghhh.

Full details and reservations at www.harveynichols.com/output/Page132.asp.

Ode to Manchester

Rather than take the trouble to compose my own Manchester poem, here are the words of West Didsbury resident Paul Heaton!

From Northenden to Partington it’s rain
From Altrincham to Chadderton it’s rain
From Moss Side to Swinton hardly Spain
It’s a picture postcard of “wish they never came”

And whilst that deckchair in the garden it makes no sense
It doesn’t spoil the view or cause offence
Those Floridas, Bavarias and Kents
Make gentlemen wear shorts but don’t make gents

So convertible stay garage-bound
Save after-sun for later
If rain makes Britain great
Then Manchester is greater
As you dry your clothes once again
Upon the radiator
What makes Britain great
Makes Manchester yet greater

From Cheetham Hill to Wythenshawe it’s rain
Gorton, Salford, Sale pretty much the same
As I’m caught up without my jacket once again
The raindrops on my face play a sweet refrain

And as winter turns reluctantly to spring
For the clouds above the city there’s one last fling
Swallows build their nests, chaffinch sing
And the sun strolls into town like long lost king

And the mood of this whole sodden place is melancholy
Like the sun came out to play, shone through the clouds
But dropped its lolly
And everyone looks so disappointed, so, so sorry
Like the rain blew into town, kidnapped the sun
And stole its brolly.

• From "Manchester" by The Beautiful South - don't believe a word about the weather - it's beautiful here!
  

Manchester Versus Cancer 2008

This year's Manchester vs. Cancer - the third annual outing for this increasingly star-studded event - will take place at the MEN Arena on Saturday 23rd February. The fund-raiser is once again being organised by Andy Rourke, formerly of The Smiths and seemingly adept at roping in showbiz mates - previous performers have included New Order, Noel Gallagher, Paul Weller and The Charlatans.

So far, four acts have been announced for the 2008 gig: The Fratelli's and Fun Lovin Criminals (both of whom are presumably honourary mancs for the night), plus Manchester legends Happy Mondays and Inspiral Carpets,

This is Manchester's biggest fund-raising event, and last year raised £250,000 for cancer research and awareness. Tickets are £40 and are available from www.men-arena.com/

Hacienda 25: The Exhibition

If, like me, you got to Manchester too late to witness the Hacienda in its glory days, there's just over a month left to visit its commemorative exhibition at the Urbis museum in central Manchester. On the one and only occasion I went to the Hacienda it was well on its downward slope to closure, most memorable for the persistent and unwanted attentions of a hairy student whom we imaginatively named Johnny Red Stripe after his beverage of choice.

This exhibition allows you to walk through the famous doors of Fac 51 and admire various items from the club itself along with artwork and personal possessions from some of those involved, including the late, great, sorely missed Sir Tony of Wilson.

The exhibition runs till 17th Feb 2008 and even has its own Fac number: fac 491. Full details at www.urbis.org.uk.